When WWE Superstars Go To WalMart
by Mentally-Unstable
Summary: Various WWE superstars go to super Wal-Mart and hilarty and chaos insues. Rated for...random stuff. FINISHED! Complete
1. Who's That Bouncing On The Ball?

When WWE Superstars Go To A Local Wal-Mart Chapter One

A/N: Mentally-Unstable has RETURNED!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Bah..) Ok, yes, I'm famous in my head..haha! Anyhoo, I don't own any of the WWE superstars(as much as I wish I did..like...Charlie Haas? OK...I do own him! He's tied up on my couch..heehee) I own Autumn And Melony!! Ok, maybe not Melony..lol. SCREW IT! On with the story...

"I'm boooorrrreeed!!" Kurt Angle whined as he drove the large van full of WWE superstars around the small town. "Dammit, Kurt! Stop being a pain!" Chris Jericho said, slapping Kurt on his bald head.

"Let's go to the mall!" Stacy Keibler yelled.

"There's not a mall..I already checked." Rico said in a distressed tone. "Look, it's..WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...Wal-Mart." Ric Flair said, "WOOO"-ing again. "Oooh! Super Wal-Mart! Let's go in there." Kurt said, pulling the van into the parking lot and parking in the first spot he saw. All of s sudden, Stone Cold Steve Austin drove up on his 4-Wheeler and parked next to the van. "You can't park here, it's a handicapped spot," Stone Cold said, guzzling his beer. "I'm afraid I'll have to give you a ticket."

"But I AM handicapped!" Kurt opened the door and wheeled himself out on the wheelchair ramp.

"Oh..well, I'm gonna write you a ticket anyway." Stone Cold tore a ticket off, handed it to Kurt, and drove away.

"Ah! Dammit!" Kurt yelled, sounding a lot like Cartman. So, the WWE superstars headed into Wal-Mart.

"Hey Kurt, lemme borrow a quarter! Please?!" Dave Batista pleaded. "No way man, it's my only quarter!" Kurt wheeled himself over to the gum machines. "And I'm SO using it to get this cool cross tattoo."

"Oooh! I want one too.....FOR I AM THE RIGHT HAND OF THE FATHAH!!!!!!!" Mordecai yelled, picking up a random person and doing "The Crucifex" on them.

"Dammit, Mordecai! You're gonna get us arrested!" Melony said angrily.

"But I'm the right hand....."

"I KNOW THAT!"

"Oh...."

"I want a quarter!" Dave yelled.

"Here, Dave." Autumn said, handing him a quarter.

"YAAAAY!" Dave walked over, put the quarter in the mechanical horse and got on. The horse started moving and happy music started playing.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" He yelled happily.

Everyone stared at him and pretended they didn't know him. Most headed into the store, while Ric, Rikishi, and Chavo Classic played the animal machines.

"Dude! This place is huge!" Edge said, grinning,

"CLOTHES!" Stacy yelled and started running.

"Wait for me!!" Trish Stratus yelled and ran after Stacy.

"Hey, I think I'll rap about Wal-Mart!" John Cena said and started rapping. "Yo, I was up in Wal-Mart..uh..what rhymes with mart?"

"Shopping cart!" Melony said.

"Ok, perfect. Yo, I was up in Wal-Mart, pushing my shopping cart, saw some Nike's on sale for 15 bucks, man, I couldn't believe my luck!"

"Yaaaaaaaay!" Random people applauded.

"Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" Ric yelled as Randy Orton pushed him in a shopping cart as fast as he could.

"I want an icee." HHH said and headed towards the snack bar. "Oh! ME TOO! ME TOO! ME TOO!" Jericho yelled and ran after HHH.

"TESTIFY!!" D-Von Dudley yelled.

"Dammit, D-Von! We came here to look for cameoflauge! Not spread the gospel!" Bubba-Ray said and hit D-Von on the arm.

Eddie and Chavo were in the frozen food section...

"Hey man, check it out! Hot wings!" Eddie held up a bag of frozen hot wings.

"Oh dude, you gotta get some!" Chavo grinned.

Eddie laughed and stuck the bag of Hot Wings under his shirt, "Maybe they'll think it's muscle." He said.

RVD was in the produce section. He held up a cantaloupe, squeezed it, and said "Mmm..juicy."

Charlie Haas, Rico, and Miss Jackie were in the make-up isle.

"Hey Miss Jackie, is this color me?" Rico asked, holding up some pink liquid eyeshadow.

"I think so..why don't you ask Charlie?" Jackie said, smiling.

Rico turned to Charlie, "Well, what do you think, Charles? Does this color say RICO?"

Charlie glanced back at Jackie and nodded, "Yeah, I agree with Jackie." He said. All of a sudden, Shawn Michaels ran up and gave Jackie "Sweet Chin Music".

"I'M NO T YOUR BOYTOY!!" He yelled and walked away.

Rico and Charlie couldn't help but laugh.

Autumn came out of nowhere and started beating Jackie with a stick.

Rico and Charlie laughed harder.

Meanwhile..in the sporting goods section..

HHH was bouncing on a huge exercise ball while sipping his icee. "Hey..you think this will help my abs?"

All of a sudden, Eugene bounced by on a rubber ball and William Regal was chasing him.

Melony and Edge pretended that they didn't know HHH.

Jericho was bearby, looking at a FLEX magazine and sipping his icee.

Danny and Doug Basham were riding little girly bikes up and down the toy isles when Rhyno came out of nowhere and "Gored" them.

Meanwhile...in the electronics....

Eruc Bischoff was checking out the selection of DVDs.

Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore were playing video games and Rene Dupree was looking at $3.88 movies. "I love a good romance." Rene said when a store clerk walked up. "Excuse me, sir, but pets aren't allowed indoors." The clerk said, pointing to Fifi.

"What? Noooooooo!! I can't go anywhere without Fifi!" Rene yelled. Kane walked over and choke slammed the clerk. "Ohhhhhhhh Rene!" Kane said. Rene reamed and ran away.

Melony, Edge, Autumn, Rico, and Charlie walked up.

Trish and Stacy were fighting over a pair of pants in the clothing department(which was right next to the electronics). Rico walked over and picked up a red and black lingerie piece. "How would I look in this, Charles?" He asked. Charlie fainted. Autumn hesitated and then gave Charlie mouth-to-  
mouth resusitation which lasted about 30 minutes.

Kurt wheeled himself over, there was a fake cross tattoo on his head. He saw Autumn giving Charlie mouth-to-mouth on the floor and ran over them with his wheelchair. A bruised and beaten Jackie walked up and Edge "Speared" her and then Kurt ran over her.

Melony snatched the pants away from Trish and Stacy and bought them for herself.

All of a sudden, the lights dimmed and green Hurricane symbols appeared everywhere.

"Stand back!! There's a Hurricane coming through!!"

The lights came back on and The Hurricane and Rosey were looking at DVDs with Eric...or WHERE THEY?!!

To Be Continued...

Mentally-Unstable: Well? Did you like it? Doesn't matter..cause I do.

Charlie on couch: What were we doing?

M-U: Oh yeah..(picks up a whip) Hehehehehe....(turns camera off)

(Insert cheesy porn music here)


	2. Cheesypoofs and Cheesy fries!

When WWE Superstars Go To Wal-Mart Chapter 2

Author's Note: OK, thanks to all the people that gave me GOOD reviews..you guys rock. And to the people that gave me BAD reviews(you know who you are Very Bad Cop, WHY ARE YOU READING THIS AGAIN IF RANDOM IS NOT FUNNY TO YOU?!!), everyone has their own opinion about stuff, but to me RANDOM IS HILARITY!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! Anyhoo, I OWN WWE AND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!!..ok..maybe not. But I do own Randy Orton!!(Cause I'm mad at Charlie..yeah..don't ask). Own with the fanficcie.

Yes..The Hurricane and Rosey were looking at DVDs with Eric Bischoff.

Torrie Wilson walked up to Melony and John.

"Can I, like, talk to you, John?" Torrie giggled.

"Why?" John asked.

"Because."

"Why?"

"I need to tell you something."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Why?"

"I love you John!!"

And, Melony beat her to death.

Meanwhile..in the sporting goods...

HHH was still bouncing on a ball, sipping his icee.

"Hey H, let's get some cheesy fries!!" Jericho suggested.

H stopped bouncing, "Good idea, I'm starving."

So, they headed back to the snack bar.

Back at the electronics.....

Dave walked up to Autumn(who had finally stopped giving "mouth-to-mouth" to Charlie), "Can I have a quarter?" He asked. Autumn sighed, "Fiiiiiinnne." She said and handed him another quarter.

"YAAAAAAAAAY!!" Dave ran away.

A voice boomed over the loudspeaker, "Would Sexton Hardcastle please come to customer service, your part is waiting. Sexton Hardcastle, your party is waiting."

"Dammit, Christian!!" Edge said and took off running. Melony followed him for some reason.

A few seconds later.....

"Duh....duh duh duh, your party is waiting. Duh...duh duh duh, your party is waiting."

"BROCK LESNAR WHERE?!!!" Autumn look around frantically.

Brock Lesnar walked up, threw her in a buggy, and pushed her through the store, then ran her into a tall stack of toilet paper.

HHH and Jericho walked up.

"Hey, you want cheesy fries? HHH is buying?" Jericho said.

"FOOD!!!" Brock yelled and went to eat cheesy fries with HHH and Jericho. Autumn headed to the food where she ran into Randy and they walked around the food for a while.

"Ehh..I wanna icee." Randy whined.

"Oooh..cheesypoofs." Autumn said and picked up a bag of Chee-Tos.

"Icceeeeeeeeeeeee..." Randy said.

Autumn was now eating cheesypoofs.

"Ooh..cheesypoofs." Randy started eating cheesypoofs.

Shelton Benjamin walked up to them and said "You were this close."

Randy and Autumn looked confused.

"This close to what?" Randy asked. Shelton shrugged, "I don't know. Hey! Chee-Tos!"

"CHEESYPOOFS!" Randy and Autumn yelled.

Shelton freaked out and walked away.

Back at the snackbar....

Chris Benoit walked up to the food counter, Brock, HHH, and Jericho were eating cheesy fries at a table nearby.

"Hey, gimme a large order of nachos with extra cheese." Benoit said. The clerk shook his head, "I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of nachos."

"WHAT?! NOOOOOOOO!!!" Benoit pulled the clerk over the counter and put him in the "Cross Face", the clerk tapped but Benoit didn't stop.

"I REALLY WANTED NACHOS!! GAAAH!" He screamed.

Brock, HHH, and Jericho were laughing their asses off.

In the toy isle....

"Hey! Check it out! It's my action figure!" Spike Dudley said happily and held up the doll. Luther Raines wheeled Kurt over, Spike couldn't stop staring at the tattoo on Kurt's head. "Hey Kurt, what's with the tattoo?"

"DON'T QUESTION ME!!" Kurt yelled.

Mordecai came over and picked Spike up, "I will TRAMPLE evil-doers..ah screw it, I'm hungry." Mordecai threw Spike down and walked away.

Edge walked up in a pink wig and sunglasses, "Check it out! Christian and I went to Sally's Beauty Supply..how do I look?" He spun around and around. Melony ran up and snatched the wig off his head. "Edge, come on! Let's go to Hibbit Hobbit Sports!" She said. Edge nodded and went with Melony. John "secretly" followed them.

Back in the electronics..

"Check it out! I'm so getting all The Best of Friends!" Eric said, he was holding a stack of DVDs. Brock, HHH, and Jericho walked up with cheese all around their mouths. "That was goooood." HHH said and finished off the last of his icee.

Shannon and Matt were still playing video games.

"Hey, I wanna play Jak and Daxter!" Matt said.

"No way! I'm almost through." Shannon said, not taking his eyes off the screen. Ric was riding in his shopping cart and accidently ran over Shannon and Matt.

"NOOOOOO!" Shannon yelled when he saw the PS2 had been reset. Matt walked over and started playing and Shannon walked away.

"Hey Shannon! Push me!" Ric yelled. Shannon shrugged and not having anything better to do, pushed Ric around REALLY fast. All of a sudden, Booker T and the Undertaker appeared. Booker was eating a cheese stick and Taker was holding a whole bunch of Ziggy's. "I won these out of the animal machine!" Taker said happily.

"ZIGGY!!" Rikishi ran over and tried to take the Ziggy's from Taker and they got in a fight. WHO WILL WIN?!! (dun dun dun duuuuuuun).

To Be Continued....

And now, a special skit for an awesomeness person and her love muffin. DEDICATED TO YOUUUUUUUU CENASNAKEDINMYBEDWITHME!!

(Scene starts in a room, there is a big fluffy bed surrounded by candles, corona, and butterscotch)

Melony: Ohhhhhhhhh Benoit! You set my loins on FIRE!! (drinks corona)

(Enter Benoit)

Benoit: Melony! I'm here! What did you want?!!

Melony: Benoit...you're my love muffin.

Benoit: Yes..I know.

Melony: Come join me on the bed.

Benoit:(jumps on bed)

Melony:(holds up butterscotch and handcuffs) Mwahahaha.

(BER CHIKA BER BER)

A/N: HAHA..ok..maybe it wasn't that funny. I try. HAHA! (Looks over at Randy who is handcuffed to my bed with candy handcuffs) Ohhhhhh RANDY!

Randy: Hey, are you gonna chew these things off pretty soon?

Mentally-Unstable: Yes, Ran, I believe I am. (Evil smirk)

(Ah-wonka-chonka-wonka-chonka-wonka-chonka)

REVIEW!!


	3. You Can't See Me!

When WWE Superstars Go To Wal-Mart Part 3

Author's Note: Oh dude, sweetness!! Thanks to all the people who gave me awesome reviews. RANDYORTONSGIRL-24 I'm so glad you liked the part with Batista, that was one of my favorites. HAHAHA! Anyway, personally, I don't think I FLEW off the handle, I was just speaking my mind!! Everyone's entitled to their opinion and that was mine. But whatever. You people know the drill, I don't own WWE, but I do own a framed picture of Randy Orton and a small pic of Charlie Haas. And 3 action figures. And an RVD mag. And go read the story called "Secret Desires of the Heart" by CenasNakedInMyBedWithMe, it will rock your sox. It did mine. Ok, I'll shut up now.

Taker won, cause he ran away with the Ziggy's and Rikishi ran after him.

HHH was walking past the frozen cookie dough and saw the sample lady. He walked over and put whatever it was she had in his mouth. "ACK!" He spit it out and it flew all over the sample lady's face. "What the hell is this? Are you trying to poison me?!!" He yelled angrily and stormed off.

Jaime Noble walked down the chip isle and opened a bag of Dorito's. He didn't like them, so he opened some Frito's. He didn't like them, so he tried Chilli Cheese Frito's...he liked them.

"Man, these here Frito's are good! Now I need somethin' to drink." He said and headed to the coke isle. He opened a box of Diet Dr. Pepper's and pulled out a can..he remembered he didn't like diet, so he threw it down and it exploded and sent a lady flying backwards. Jaime opened a box of Berryclear Sprite Remix and got a can, he popped the top and drank some. "Now THAT'S good!" He said and went to get some cheese.......

Meanwhile, in the hair care..

"Hmm..should I stay blonde, or go back to being brunette?" Rene asked himself..he just couldn't decide on what to do with his hair.

"Ooooooh! Pantene!" He said and picked up a bottle and threw it in his buggy. "Hey, maybe I can dye my hair the colors of the French flag!" He suggested. "No..that wouldn't work. Ooh! I need one of those oil treatment thingies." He looked around, found one, and threw it in his buggy. "Hmm..this last dye-job was OK, but I'm not asking Torrie to dye my hair..again."

Flashback

Rene ran into Torrie after a show.

"Hey Torrie!" He said. "I'm tired of being brunette, you think you could dye my hair blonde?"

Torrie giggled, "Sure, Rene! I've got plenty of hair dye!" She said as she showed him a 50 gallon can of blonde hair dye.

30 minutes later

Rene was sitting in a chair with a pink towel on his head. Torrie walked up and took the towel off, "Oh Rene! That color looks great on you!" She said.

"Thanks Torrie!!" Rene giggled.

"Lemme blowdry it and then I'll give you a mirror." She said and pulled out her hot pink blowdryer.

5 minutes later

"Torrie, it's magnificent!" Rene said happily as he admired himself in the mirror.

End flashback

"That's it! I'm going brunette!" Rene threw a box of brunette hair dye into his buggy and walked away,

In the electronics...

Melony, Edge, and John were looking at DVDs(they just got back from Hibbit Hobbit Sports). Brock and Jericho were acting crazy.

Brock jumped behind a large stand of movies and said, "You can't see me!"

"Hey, that's my line!" John said.

"But really, you can't see me!"

"Dammit Brock, stop saying that!"

"But seriously, you can't see me!"

"That's it, I'm gonna kick your ass!"

John ran over and jumped on Brock. Brock screamed and fell down. John did the "Five Knuckle Shuffle" and then beat Brock with movies.

"Go John!" Melony cheered. "Wait, go Brock!..wait..go John!..wait..I'M SO CONFUSED!!"

Edge started over to comfort Melony when Christian yelled "WEDGIEEEEE!!!" and pulled Edge's blue thongs up further then they were supposed to go.

"Dammit Christian!!" Edge yelled and ran after him.

Meanwhile..in the bedding department..

Mordecai was walking around and saw a harmless looking lady, he ran over and picked her up. "A one man crusade to trample..ah, screw it..I'm tired." He threw the woman down. Mordecai walked over and got an egg-crate and put it down on the floor, he put a white sheet on it, along with a pillow, laid down, and covered up with a Yu-Gi-Oh! comforter and went to sleep.

Meanwhile..in the arts and crafts..

"Ooooh..glitter in all different colors!" Dave said happily and picked up some glitter.

"Paint!" Rico ran over to the paint and stocked up on glittery blue. "Rico..you actually put that stuff on your face?" Charlie asked. Rico nodded, "Why, yes, Charles. It's a little beauty secret of mine. That's why I have such soft skin." Rico walked closer to Charlie and Charlie ran away.

La Resistance was in the cloth section.

Sylvian Granier had wrapped Rob Conway in Harry Potter cloth and was rolling him around.

Eugene had wrapped himself in glittery lace and was drinking out of his HHH cup.

"Bloody hell.." Regal mumbled to himself as he watched Eugene jump up and down and throw lace everywhere. Christian had opened a whole bunch of beads and spilt them everywhere and was playing with them.

Luther wheeled Kurt up to the fake flowers.

"Luther..get me glue!" Kurt instructed. Luther disappeared and came back with glue.

Kurt then proceeded to glue fake flowers to his wheelchair and cast.

Meanwhile..in the sporting goods....

Benoit was looking at fishing poles while sipping his icee. He set his icee down and got a fishing pole. He tried to cast it out, but failed. He kept trying and trying until finally he did. When he reeled it in, there was a white hat on it.

"Hey! This is cooool!" He said and did it again. This time, he got a magazine. He did it again and got a stuffed Hello Kitty. He did it again and got a "South Park Season 4" DVD set.

"Sweet! Sweet like cheesypoofs!" He said like Cartman. He did it again and got a PS2!!

"Whoa...this is my lucky day!"

Ric passed by pushing the floor buffer and going "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!", a bunch of salespeople were chasing him.

Meanwhile..in a random place....

Eddie had a whole bunch of stuff in a buggy and was wrapping it up in wrapping paper. A random person walked by and Eddie gave them a "gift". "Here you go man, merry Christmas."

The person opened it and it was a can of Pork & Beans. The person got a bit freaked out and left. Eddie pushed his buggy around and gave random people random gifts.

One person got a "Wordlife" DVD, and another person got a package of toilet paper. A store clerk saw what was going on and called the cops. The cops came in and tried to arrest Eddie..but he ran away. Will they catch him?!! (dum dum duuuuum)

To Be Continued....

A/N: And, just to clear something up..WATCHING CHEESY PORN WHILE EATING CHEESYPOOFS ROX MY SOX!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA! Yes..cheesy porn is the s-h-i-t.

Charlie:(is handcuffed to Randy with candy handcuffs) How long are you going to take?!!

Mentally-Unstable: Hold on, I'm almost through.

Randy:(is trying to chew off handcuffs)

Mentally-Unstable: What are you doing? Do you not like my Randy Candy Handcuffs?!!

Randy: Yes, that's why I'm trying to eat them. They're fruity.

Charlie:(nibbles on handcuffs) Mmm..lime!

Mentally-Unstable: Wait..that's my job! (pounces on Charlie and Randy and proceeds to chew handcuffs off)

(Ah-wonka-chonka-wonka-chonka-wonka-chonka-wonka-chonka)

And now..a skit...for CenasNakedInMyBedWithMe....

(A scene on a beautiful tropical island paradise..)

Melony:(is lounging on a green lounge chair while sipping Corona) Ahh..I love the Hawaiian breeze.

(Benoit walks up in a banana hammock)

Benoit: Look..isn't is sexy?

Melony:(drools uncontrollably)

Benoit: Yeah..I thought so.

Melony:(while holding Corona..pounces on Benoit)

(ber-chicka-ber-ber)


	4. Chassies and Lollipopsoh joy

**When WWE Superstars Go To Wal-Mart **

**Chapter Four**

**Author's Note: Whazzup peeps?!!! Yeah, I know a lot of people have been waiting for this...right?! (crickets chirp) Uhm..ok..I can dream. :P Wheeeeeeeee. Uhh..yeah..dedicated to CenasNakedInMyBedWithMe and Lance Cortex..cause they rule. (Bows) Wheee. I don't own the WWE superstars, but I own Autumn and Melony..well..not really Melony..but whatever. I wish I owned Randy and Charlie, though. And Miss Jackie can DIE! (Stabstabstabstab)**

**End Author's Note**

The cops were still looking for Eddie, who was in the storage room stealing people's layaways.

Mordecai woke up from his nap and was walking around hopelessly. "Dammit...gimme somethin' to eat!!" He said angrily. All of a sudden, Shawn Michaels bust through the door on a riding lawn mower, threatening to run people over.

"Whoo-hoo!! Hey! Let's see if this thing can shred stuff!" He yelled. Mordecai threw a t-shirt in front of the mower and Shawn ran over it. "Heehee, look! A shredded t-shirt!" Mordecai giggled. Melony, John, Edge, and Christian ran up and threw various items in front of the lawn mower.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!" Shawn yelled as he rode around the store.

Autumn and Dave bounced by on Pogo Sticks.

"Can I have another quuuaaarrrtteerrr???" Dave asked.

"No, Dave! Now..BOUNCE!"

So they bounced away merrily on their Pogo Sticks.

Meanwhile..in the food....

"Ooh..Nabs!" Stacey said as she opened a package of Peanut butter Nabs and ate them. Torrie was nearby(apparently, Melony just beat her, so..she's still alive) eating a lollipop. Melony came out of nowhere and walked over to Torrie.

"My sister loves you," Melony blurted out, "In _that_ way."

Torrie giggled, "OhmiGod! Like, really? I'm _sooo _flattered!" She said and licked her lollipop. Stacey got freaked out and walked away eating her Nabs.

Autumn popped up, "I do not love you in _that_ way." She said and walked over to the cookie area where Mordecai had set up a microwave oven.........

_15 Minutes Later...._

"Yaaay! The chocolate chips are done!!" Mordecai said happily and reached for a cookie.

Autumn slapped Mordecai's hand, "Noo! You must wait until they are cool! Drink your milk!" She said. "Dammit..." Mordecai mumbled and drank his milk.

Brock and Melony walked up.

"C'mon Brock! Let's have a cookie!" Melony said. Brock growled, "No..me no like chocolate chip! Me like oatmeal!" He said and slammed the table with his fist. And while Autumn wasn't looking, Mordecai grabbed a cookie and ate it. Torrie walked up and got a cookie, "So, do you, like, really love me?" She asked and took a bite. Autumn rolled her eyes, "No, Torrie, I like you and all, but I don't swing that way."

"But _I_ do." Torrie said and walked closer to Autumn. Autumn backed away and Charlie walked over to watch, "Are you two gonna make out now?" He asked.

"Uhm..I was joking." Torrie said and ate another cookie. "I thought you were different, Charlie." Autumn said. Then there was an awkward silence. The only sound that could be heard was Torrie munching on a cookie.

"Ah, I don't care." Autumn said, jumping on Charlie and wrapping her legs around his waist. They proceeded to make out. Melony got grossed out and walked away. She went to the toilet paper isle and John was there, trying to figure out whether to buy Charmin or Angel Soft.

"Hey John, do you wax yo' chassie?" Melony asked. John smiled, "Why yes..yes I do. Would you like to see?" He asked and pulled down his pants. Then, John and Melony had sex in the toilet paper isle. All that could be heard was various screams of "HAPPY MEAL!!" (OO)

Meanwhile, in the toy isle.....

Christian was checking out Hot Wheels cars when all of a sudden, he was hit in the head with a Barbie doll.

"Owwwww!!" He said and picked up a yellow Viper. Every few seconds, another Barbie would fly over and hit him. Finally, he got majorly pissed and walked over to the next isle where Edge and Shelton were laughing their asses off.

"WHY WERE YOU THROWING BARBIES AT MEEEEEE?!!!" Christian asked.

Shelton shrugged, "I dunno. Edge made me do it!"

"WHATEVER! YOU THREW THE FIRST DOLL!"

Shelton: No I didn't.

Edge: Yes you did.

Sheltie: Nuh-uh.

Edge: Yeah-huh.

Sheltie: Nuh-uh.

Edge: Yeah-huh.

Sheltie: Nuh-uh.

Edge: Nuh-uh.

Sheltie: Yeah-huh.

Edge smirked.

"Dammit! Fell for it again!" Shelton said and walked away.

Meanwhile, in a random place.......

Jericho had drank one to many Icee's and had to pee really bad. He ran into the Men's bathroom, and there was Ric Flair..waxing his chassie in the sink. "Oh my God! What are you doing?!" Jericho asked.

"Oh, hi Jericho! you peel this last thing off? It hurts!" Ric said.

Jericho walked away, stole Torrie's lollipops, and got sugar high. He then stole Dave's Pogo Stick and bounced around Wal-Mart. Dave got sad, but then he rode around on one of the cars made for kids and was happy again.

Luther was challenging random people to a match, while Kurt checked out the selection of Spider Man merchandise. "Hey, should I get the Peter Parker action figure, or the Mary-Jane one?" Kurt asked Luther, but Luther was picking on a little boy who was looking at Pokemon cards.

Trish came up and started looking at Yu-Gi-Oh! action figures, because secretly, she was in love with Marik. She slipped the Marik doll under her coat and walked away, but the video camera saw what she did...

**To Be Continued(dumdumdumdummmm)**

**A/N: OHMYGOD! WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?!!!! I have no idea....I mean..actually, I do! But I'm not gonna tell yoouuuu....**


	5. Banana Hammocks and The Big Cheese

**When WWE Superstars go to Wal-Mart **

**A/N: Ahhh...the final chapter of my cult classic. XD I can dream, ok? Anyhoozleebees, I wanna say thanks to all the peep who've stuck with me with AWESOME reviews. Soo..(sniffle) thank you from the bottom of my evil black heart. (Snifsnif) Yaay. Ok, here we gooooo.....**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

As Trish was walking out of the store, a security guard walked up. "Excuse me, miss, but we've got you on tape sticking a Marik action figure under your coat." He said. Trish gasped "dramatically", "WHAT?!! ME? Nooo...I mean..I..I was babe of the year!" She yelled. At that moment, Eddie ran by.

"Hey, look! It's that Guerrero guy!"

"What? Where?" The security guy started chasing after Eddie.

In the electronics...

Josh Matthews was checking out the selection of DVD's when he spotted "Confessions of a teenage drama queen".

"OHMIGOD!!I LUURRRVVVEE THIS MOVIE!!!" He yelled and grabbed it, "Lindsay Lohan is, like, my Goddess!! And I HAVE to have that outfit she's wearing! It's sooo Gothic!!" He then did the dance that what's-her-face does and sang "CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" As loud as he could.

In a random place....

Melony was sitting in a buggy eating Twizzlers when Gary Gulman walked by.

"MY COOKIE MAN!!" She screamed and jumped on him.

"Oh my God! Who are you?!" Gary yelled, he looked at her and then fell under her weird, freeky deeky lust spell. "Ohhh..I love yoouu.." He said. And then, they made out in the middle of the candy isle. Then JJ walked up, "Can I join?" He asked. Suddenly, a tent popped up and they all loved in a tent.

Meanwhile..in the camping isle....

There was a tent set up. Benoit stepped out, he had a camouflage hat on, was holding a rifle, and was sipping an icee through the space in his teeth.

"Sheltie! C'mon! Let's go hunting!" He yelled. Shelton ran up and was holding a rifle, "Uhm..we're in Wal-Mart..what are we going to hunt?" Sheltie asked. Benoit shrugged, "I dunno..we'll find something."

In a random place........

Autumn and Rico were sitting at a desk type thing.

"Where is she?! The contest is about to start, dammit!" Autumn said.

"Oh, she's probably loving somebody in a tent." Rico replied.

At that moment, Melony ran up and sat next to Autumn.

"You were loving somebody in a tent, weren't you?"

"Uhhmm...maybe?"

Suddenly, the lights dimmed and a runway appeared, with different colored lights on it. John Cena walked down the runway in a banana hammock. Rico, Melony, and Autumn all held up signs that had a "10" on them.

Next was Josh Matthews...

"You're disqualified." Autumn said.

"What? Why?" He asked, stunned.

"Because you don't even have a banana! You have an..apricot."

"So that gets me disqualified?"

"Yes! It's a banana hammock contest..not an apricot hammock contest."

"Oh! This is SO unfair!" Josh yelled and stormed away.

Next was Charlie Haas. He got two "10"'s and one "8".

"That's it..I can't take it!!" Autumn jumped on Charlie and the two of them proceeded to make out on the runway.

"Next!"

Next was..Benoit and Sheltie? They were out of hunting clothes and into b. hammocks. Benoit still had his icee.

"Ohhh..Benoit! I'm your sexual aggression!" Melony screamed.

"What the HELL is going on here?!!" Vince McMahon yelled as he stormed through the electronic Wal-Mart doors.

"Oh shit..we're busted!" Benoit said.

Vince walked over and was about to say something when Autumn and Charlie rolled off the runway and on top of him.

"Ack! HELP ME!!" Vince screamed. Autumn and Charlie stopped playing tonsil hockey and stood up. "Oh crap! We landed on the big cheese!" Charlie said.

"Hide me." Autumn squeaked and jumped behind Charlie.

"HAVE YOU PEOPLE ALL GONE CRAZY?!!!!!!!!!!!" Vince screamed.

Rene ran by, screaming. Kane ran by a few seconds later yelling; "Rene! Be my wifey!!"

"I can't believe you people work for me.." Vince mumbled.

"ATTENTION!" A voice came over the loud speaker. "All WWE come out with your hands up! The Wal-Mart is surrounded!:

"Ohh man..." Randy said, "Who called the fuzz?"

1 Hour Later...

"I'm terribly sorry for all the trouble they've caused," Vince said as the police dude unlocked the jail cell door. "I promise it will never happen again."

Melony, Autumn, John, Charlie, Randy, Rico, Ric, Dave, Eddie, Chavo, Chavo Jr., The Dudleys, Trish, Stacy, Matt, Benoit, Sheltie..oh screw it! And everybody else that was there, came out of the cell and into awaiting cars.

"Sorry we wreaked havoc on the Wal-Mart, holmes." Eddie said.

"Dude, did you really pay the $9,000,000,000,00 dollar bail fee thingie?" Edge asked.

"Yes I did..and it's all coming out of your paychecks."

Everybody groaned.

"Hey, can we stop at Wendy's?" Kurt asked, "I'm hungry."

"This car is not stopping EVER until we get to L.A.!!"

"Hey, look, a Dollar Tree!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**The End**

**A/N: What did you think? Didya see Vince coming? Heeheehee. Oh yeah, I'm not bashing Josh, cause I love the guy....(innocent grin)..and the Gothic thing is an inside joke. Soo..I'll see ya on the flip side peeps! Rock on!!**


End file.
